The case of the Mad Cow Disease
by iheartsunshine
Summary: What happens when the Cullens and Hales go out hunting? What happens when Bella starts following in her fathers footsteps? I guess it just turns out to be another case for DETECTIVE ISABELLA SWAN! Oneshot!


A/N: Well, this is my first one-shot so be easy on me! I had a lot of fun writing this, and don't ask me where I got the whole idea for it. The truth is… I don't know.

Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight… that's Stephenie Meyer.

"Hello?" I asked when the phone rang.

"Hi, is this Bella Swan?" the strange woman on the other line asked.

"Um… yes." It came out more as a question than an answer.

"Well good. This is Shirley Jacobs from the hospital"

"Well is everything alright?"

"Well, I'm afraid not. You see, Dr. Cullen and the rest of his family all have a case of the mad cow disease. I'm sorry, but things aren't looking good." She told me.

"What? Can I come and see them? What are they acting like? How could this ever happen?"

"Yes you can come see them, that's why they asked me to call. They are acting sick, except for Alice, she's overexcited about being sick, but she's still infected. And they must have eaten some meat from a cow that had the disease. Well thank you for your time! Bye!" she said… cheery… maybe a little too cheery.

This looked like a case for Detective Bella Swan. (Those summers with my dad really did have an impact on me) I grabbed my car keys, my jacket a notebook and pencil and rushed to the hospital where I knew they were at. Racing out the door I ran to my car. Barely managing not to trip.

When I was finally at the hospital, I ran up to the front desk to where a lady (with a nameplate that said Shirley) was sitting.

"Can I help you?" She asked cheerily. This woman was getting to me. Why was she always cheery? How was she always cheery? What kind of stuff did she put into her coffee? I wrote my first note in my notebook.

_Clue # 1: You probably know what happened so why am I asking all these questions?_

_Clue #2: Shirley Jacobs was acting overly cheery._

"Um yes." I said. "I'm looking for Dr. Cullen and his family."

"Oh. You're Bella. Well they are in room 38 on level 3. It's the 5th door on the left." She told me.

"Thank you" I told her.

I ran up to the elevator (I thought about taking the stairs, but with my clumsiness, I wasn't going to risk it) and pressed the button to the 3rd floor.

I looked for the 5th door on the left and finally made it. Being the good detective that I am I silently knocked on the door. Obviously them being vampires, they could smell me and probably knew it was me. Then I thought of another clue… or question… or whichever.

_The Cullens are vampires. Shouldn't this just pass through their system?_

"Come in" I heard a voice from inside. Carlisle. Shaking off the detective in me so I could go in, I just had to remember how to act normally. (I had been pretending to be a detective all morning… actually I asked Charlie if I could go to work with him I was so into it today… but he said no)

I opened the door to see all the people I love (especially Edward) sitting in the cold, uncomfy hospital beds. They all looked paler than usual and that really was something to say. When I looked at them more closely, their eyes were the same topaz color, but they had a hint of green to them.

Edward held out his arms to give me a hug. I walked over to him and gave one back. "What happened?" I whispered into his ear.

"We drank from some cows that had the mad cow disease." He told me. His voice was all rough and scratchy. I didn't like it. His voice is supposed to sound like an angel. MY angel.

"Cows?" I said in disbelief.

"Cows." He affirmed.

Just then a 2 doctors and a nurse came barging in. They quickly glanced at everybody, and then me.

"What are you doing here? Someone get the girl out!" The evil doctor said.

"NO!" They all shouted at once.

"Well she has to leave, we're doing tests. Besides, she's not related to any of you so she can't be in here the first place. This is trespassing!" The very evil man said. 

"No Jim," Carlisle explained. "I think of Bella like a daughter. She's apart of our family."

Everyone agreed, except Rosalie, but Edward growled at her under his breath so she finally agreed.

"And besides," Edward said cutting in. "IF Bella leaves, I do to."

"And if Edward leaves, I will." Alice said.

"And if Alice leaves, I will" Jasper said.

"And if Jasper leaves, I will" Rosalie said.

"DEFINITELY if Rosalie leaves, I will too" Emmett said

"And if Emmett leaves, I will too" Esme said.

"And if Esme leaves, I will too. Carlisle said.

Wow! I really feel loved. Now being pulled onto Edward's lap from standing up, I finally relaxed.

"Well FINE" the doctor said. "We'll take" he looked at his papers. "Carlisle and Esme in one room. Emmett and Rosalie in another, and Jasper and Alice in another, and Edward, I'm afraid that you'll have to be alone… for right now at least." Jim said.

Very carefully, the Cullens and the Hales left the room. Leaving only Edward and myself.

I turned towards him. "How did this happen?" I asked again softly, rubbing his face with my hand.

"You know how we went hunting yesterday?" He asked.

"Yah…" I told him

"Well, we ended up in the middle of the forest, and there were a bunch of cows. " He told me.

"A bunch of cows?" I asked him.

"Yes, a bunch of cows. Now anyway, since we were all Really thirsty, we took a bite. One cow for each of us. Only later did we realize that those cows had mad cow disease. But since we don't know what cows have the disease or not, you are now not allowed to eat meat. You are now a vegetarian."

"WHAT? I don't want to be a vegetarian! Where will I get my protein?" I asked 

"Peanut Butter." Edward told me.

"But Ed, I'm allergic to peanut butter." I said sincerely.

"You are! Why didn't you ever tell me? Bella? You're supposed to tell me things like this. What am I going to do with you." After he said that, he started rumbling of in what I thought was Italian.

"No, I'm not. I just don't want to eat PB&J sandwiches all the time."

Just then, the doctor came in with all of the Cullens.

"Being the great doctor that I am, I have solved the mystery of Mad Cow Disease. The answer is…" he said triumphantly. "you don't have it anymore." He finished lamely.

As the doctor rambled on and on, I quietly excused myself. I went out into the hallway and got out my notepad.

_The Cullens are better but what caused them to be able to have the disease pass through their system? Another mystery that will never be solved. _

_This case is closed for Detective Isabella Swan._

With that, I closed my notebook. I could feel people behind me… a group of people who weren't really people… vampires actually. I turned around facing them.

"Detective Isabella Swan?" Edward asked in a confused voice.

To answer his question, I grabbed my little 2 inch elephant squirt gun that I conveniently had in my purse and pretended it was a real gun. I ran down the hall and back to my car. I wasn't quite sure if I was really going to go home. I mean… the life of a detective takes you places you'd never think you ever would have gone otherwise.

A/N: Wow! I hope you like reading it as much as I liked writing it! Review!


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